Big Brother
by Falling Tears of Death
Summary: Somewhere Itachi was the brother he should have been and Sasuke led the life he should have had. But really if you look at it, its all the same.
1. Part 1

Summary: Even without sharingan Sasuke can see anything he pleases but usually, mostly all he really wants to see is Itachi.

A/N: This series was partly inspired by Big Fish the book. You should know there will be NO Itachi/Sasuke. I repeat NO, as in none, nada. All accepted disclaimers apply. For clarification purposes Take 1's are non-cannon and Take 2's are 98% cannon. Dedicated to Indigo's Ocean 3

**Meet (v): **to come upon; come into the presence of; encounter. to become acquainted with; be introduced to. to encounter in experience.

Part 1: In which Sasuke Meets Itachi (Take 1)

_I don't want realism. I want magic! Yes, yes, magic. I try to give that to people. I do misrepresent things. I don't tell truths. I tell what ought to be truth—A streetcar named Desire_

Sasuke has many first memories of Itachi, some that are not his own but instead have been told to him so many times that they have become like a field of butterflies behind his closed eyelids. One of these memories goes like this:

It is raining outside. Sasuke can hear the drip, drip, drip like a syringe into his very brain. His limbs feel restless and lethargic at the same time. He wants to go, to run, to explore and conquer but every movement he makes is met with a barricade.

A neon red wire barricade that burns into Sasuke's eyes like a stop sign that is too bright and too overpowering in this little grey house. No matter what he tries he cannot escape. He pushes but it doesn't budge, he bites but it doesn't break or crumble, he climbs but it is too tall. He reaches his little hands in between the bars but cannot reach outside. Its too far away.

He is trapped and powerless and only one years old and it is raining outside with thunder so loud, no one can hear him crying. And then there is a blur. There is magic, there is something so incredible that it feels imagined.

Hands. Two hands so big and warm that they are greater than the universe. Pulling him up, up, up into the air and Sasuke is suddenly free. Sasuke is free, and flying, and laughing on the shoulders of his savior—Itachi.


	2. Part 2

Summary: When Sasuke looks in the mirror all he sees is Itachi, and even still he's not so sure who that really is.

A/N: Usual babble applies. Reviews are loved and cherished and acknowledged.

**Meet (v): **to come together in opposition or conflict, as adversaries or hostile forces. to come together, face to face, or into company. to cope or deal effectively with. to face, eye, etc., directly or without avoidance

Part 2: In which Sasuke meets Itachi (Take 2)

_If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.__--Unknown_

Sasuke never misses the irony that the one thing he's ever hated, the one thing that has tortured and tormented him in now a part of him. The very thing that haunts his sleep, that keeps him awake, that forces him into fitful dreaming is now inside of him.

Those eyes, he remembers, the first time that they turned, changed into seeping red like the blood of his parents pooling at pale, startling bright feet. Against the dark of the house those eyes were fireflies consumed in a hateful fire. Creating a stench so awful Sasuke remembers it to this day, smelling it everywhere.

The eyes of Itachi the murderer, formerly known as Sasuke's brother. Heartless and cold and watching, mocking…"maybe next time little brother."

_Those _eyes. The same eyes that were smiling at him as he had his first and last piece of dango. The same eyes that stared at him with tears and remorse and regret and…love. The same exact eyes that got darker and darker, fading from red to grey, shutting lethargically without even so much as a fight—never to reopen again.

The eyes of a S-ranked ninja, of a ruthless man. Eyes of guilt, of sorrow, of a boy pushed into a wall with no way to escape and no one to turn to, no way to ever turn back or back down. Forced to move forward in the fear of losing everything at the risk of losing himself.

The eyes of a boy who at a time was trying to be a savior and ended up beyond saving, a martyr who died for an empty cause, a boy who tried to get it right but was powerless and could only watch as it went wrong all again.

The eyes of Itachi the tragedy—sometimes known as Sasuke's brother.


	3. Part 3

Summary: And in some ways perhaps Itachi has always been lucky because despite his role in life, Itachi has never felt as if he was playing a part.

A/N: There were 2 anonymous reviewers….who I want to thank and then also Indigo's Ocean for which this is written and for who implores only the best of me. And to Black Rose…you are also very sweet!!

**Become (v)**: to come, change, or grow to be (as specified); to come into being.

Part 3: In which Itachi becomes a brother (Take 1)

_I can't believe it's you  
I needed you  
and you were there-Tori Amos_

Contrary to popular belief Itachi does not become Sasuke's brother from the moment Sasuke is born despite all of the biological facts that prove otherwise. It's a little sad, honestly. Sad and strange and unsettling and painful and dishonorable to admit but honestly—it takes a while.

Much longer than Itachi expected. So long in fact, that at some point into Sasuke's third year of life Itachi starts worrying. Every moment spent with Sasuke starts to fill with anxiety, waiting for that feeling to come. That feeling, the one of brotherly love and adoration to slip into his heart.

Every single second is spent in panic. Maybe this time he thinks. Or this time, or this time, or this time, or the next time, soon. Sometime soon? And he even though he tries, lord knows he tries, Itachi can't help but start to give up and feel kind of lied to. This brother thing isn't all it's cracked up to be.

But then one day. One horrible, regular, unexciting, plain day something…happens. On a day just like any other day except that missions had been a little more brutally dull than usual and Itachi was a little more dirty and down and exhausted than normal….something….happens.

On the way to his room, through the kitchen Itachi sees (well more like hears) Sasuke desperately trying to reach the basket of tomatoes on the counter and Itachi in a fight for his own sanity, tiring quickly of hearing that whiny noise people make as they reach for things out of their grasp, without thought or pause throws the red fruit onto the floor and continues his path to his sanctuary.

Or more like _tries_ to continue because before he can take more than 3 steps Itachi feels two arms, chubby and small awkwardly ,but to their best ability, wrapping around him and squeezing—tightly.

When Itachi looks down Sasuke is looking up at him and positively beaming "Tachi you're the greatest." And Itachi feels it…that feeling. As if he has just become the Hokage as if he has just completed an A ranked mission. And so Itachi swoops down and pulls Sasuke up into his chest, hugging him with all he's worth. And he feels it…that feeling growing.

As if he had just accomplished the most important thing in the entire world. Like becoming Sasuke's brother.


	4. Part 4

Summary: Usually the things Itachi does for Sasuke are unlike anything else. But occasionally they feel all too similar.

A/N: There is a long list of excuses why this took me so long. But most of them you don't want to hear so know that I will try to be better. Just review and yell at me and I'll keep updating.

**Become (v)**: to be suitable or necessary to the dignity, situation, or responsibility of

_World like a dewdrop, though it's only a dewdrop; even so, even so.—Issa_

Part 4: In which Itachi becomes a brother (Take 2)

One of the first and last useful things Itachi learns when he joins Anbu is that the big picture is really just a lot of little pictures put together. In order to control the big picture one must first manipulate the little pictures. Or in short: Life is about the little things.

It is about the way a target watches a child play which suggests an intimate relation. A father perhaps? It is about the way a target rubs his shoulders which hints at soreness, a weak spot. It is the slightest shift in sound, the hitch of wind, the rock in the river, the flicker of a finger. Every little seemingly insignificant thing.

In this way being with Sasuke is like being on an Anbu mission. He too is all about little things. A brush of his hair, a small smile spared, a tomato sliced and slipped into his lunch bag, 10 minutes practicing with a shruiken. A little word of praise.

Sasuke himself is like a trained Anbu, a hokage, a martyr of some sort even though he is only eight years old. He always asks for so little but in his own unique way gives so much. It is for this reason that Itachi turns away from him. He has come too far now, he has killed too many, gone in too deep to undo or ruin what has begun. The Uchiha have been eradicated, their evil undone and Sasuke has been set free. Set free into a life of anguish, despair, and solitude.

For this travesty Itachi owes Sasuke this…this one last little thing. So he turns away, he turns away and does not let Sasuke see him cry. He does not let Sasuke see him break for Sasuke's hatred will now be his only protection. And in this fleeting, final, little way Itachi sees that being a big brother,also, boils down to one little thing.


	5. Part 5

Summary: This is kind of like peek-a-boo except when Sasuke removes his hands from his eyes—Itachi isn't there.

A/N: I want to thank the reviewers who encourage me to keep writing. It really does mean so much. Because of this, requests will be taken in the form of a word or even the specific definition of the word you want used.

**Miss (v)**: to notice the absence or loss of, to regret the absence or loss of.

Part 5: In which Sasuke misses Itachi (Take 1)

_Now how I wish I had someone to talk to  
I'm in an awful way—Sam Cooke _

And one day when Sasuke wakes up everyone is gone. At first Sasuke thinks this is a game they are playing and so he tip toes out of his bedroom quietly and hugs on to the walls just like Itachi taught him.

He peers into every corner and crawls on every tile and peeks into every room just to find nothing, no one….Sasuke is alone. And although Sasuke will never admit it, because he is 5 now and a big boy, his house is too big and too quiet and very much scary when he is alone.

But Sasuke does not cry and he does not complain and he does not pout because he is 5 and he is an Uchiha and he can take care of himself. So Sasuke reads his books with the pictures in it and Sasuke practices his shruiken throwing and Sasuke eats an apple when he gets hungry.

Everything is fine until the ball that Sasuke is playing with rolls into Itachi's room and Sasuke pushes open the door even though he knows how much Itachi hates anyone entering his room. Itachi's room is really clean and really dark except for the eerie light coming from behind the blinds. His room is really cold and really deserted and then Sasuke is hit with the rationally irrational fear that Itachi may never come home again.

For a moment Sasuke realizes that he is not just alone but he is lonely and he may stay this way forever because his family has left him and will never return because they do not want Sasuke anymore. Sasuke will stay in this house and he will play by himself forever because Itachi promised to play with him today but has left Sasuke all by himself.

And so Sasuke cries, even though he's a big boy now, he cries. Sasuke sobs until he has worked his way into Itachi's bed that barely smells like Itachi, barely smells like anything at all and this only makes Sasuke cry harder. Time passes and Sasuke just cries for forever, he cries until he hiccups and must cry without tears, he cries until the tears come again with no noise, he cries until he is dry heaving and exhausted and falls asleep.

And when Sasuke awakes his face is on a warm familiar lap and arms encircle him and pull him up into a solid chest that smells just right….just like Itachi. Sasuke awakes to the beautiful noise of Itachi murmuring an apology in his ears, something about Shushi and a mission and that he was sorry and how proud he was of Sasuke.

Sasuke just holds Itachi tighter. Itachi was here, he wasn't alone anymore, everything was fine again and so Sasuke falls back asleep.


	6. Part 6

Summary: Some people say that life is too short to be hateful; Sasuke thinks these people are wrong because life is too long and lonely not to be.

A/N: To everyone who has reviewed and favorite or altered I adore you. Any word preferences for the next two chapters?

**Miss (v):** to fail to hit or strike; to fail to be present at or for; to fail to take advantage of

Part 6: In which Sasuke misses Itachi (Take 2)

"_Why don't any of the punches I throw in my dreams ever connect?"—Unknown._

On the days that Sasuke can no longer afford to be anything but brutally honest with himself, Sasuke is forced to admit that here is a lot of truth Itachi's words despite how cold and callous they maybe. Sasuke does not hate Itachi as much as he should. He realizes this most whenever Itachi is right in front of him because for some reason the hatred he feels grows and shrinks with Itachi's distance.

Whenever Itachi is actually near Sasuke, whenever Sasuke can actually _do_ something Sasuke can't help but pretend, even for a second that he and Itachi are just brothers—sparring. So when Sasuke sees Itachi's throat, unguarded and open Sasuke aims his hands deadly and precise and tenses his legs before pushing forward into a barreling sprint while pulling his hand back and then pushing forward with wind bursting force and then….Sasuke misses.

It doesn't hit. Doesn't even touch or graze. His hand just hangs there, one millimeter away for just half a second until Itachi, eyes full of disregard and disappointment and something….something else, shoves Sasuke to the ground ruthlessly. And when Itachi walks away Sakura and Kakashi will try to comfort him and Naruto will kind of just sit there and not say anything for once.

Sasuke shrugs off Kakashi's hand with all the petualance of a child and stares with moist red eyes at where Itachi was just standing.

Next time, Sasuke thinks, next time he won't miss Itachi. He can't afford to.


End file.
